February 2012
1 tag
Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?
Government: Because. Sex isn't for recreation. It's for procreation.
Woman: But it can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Government: Too bad.
Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government: Do you have a penis?
Man: YES, YES I DO!!
Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure." Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
Government: But seriously, you're a man. You can do what ever you want.
Woman: But-
Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.
Social anxiety isn’t cool.
OCD isn’t cool.
Bipolar disorder isn’t cool.
Depression isn’t cool.
Cutting isn’t cool.
Phobias aren’t cool.
Trauma isn’t cool.
Sleep disorders aren’t cool.
Eating disorders aren’t cool.
They’re real things, they’re scary, and pretending you have them is just fucking obnoxious and an insult.
Teachers: Don't talk to strangers online.
Parents: Don't talk to strangers online.
Everyone: Don't talk to strangers online.
Me: They aren't strangers if we have the same favorite band.
victoryjobs:
“I love you more than Kanye loves Kanye,” said Kanye to a mural of Kanye wearing an airbrushed Prada t-shirt of Kanye holding a photo of Kanye in front of Kanye’s mirror as a rocket ship full of Kanyes soared overhead.
